articulosity

I put a lot of energy into ignoring my undocumented status, and living my life as normally as I could.  I am now in my senior year of high school, however, and with admissions decisions from Berkeley and UCLA (my top choices) arriving this month,  scholarship applications to turn in, and numbers to crunch as I figure out just how much money I need to survive, ignoring my legal status is no longer possible.  

The beginning of senior year was particularly hard though.  As I was forced to face the challenges that lie ahead, I often became overwhelmed and discouraged.  There was a definite sense of self-pity involved, the typical teenage “Why me?”.  Reading other AB540 blogs, however, helped me put my situation in context; I’m not the only person going through this, and there are many articulate and charmingly witty people out there going through what I’m going through. And if there’s anything I can relate to, it’s articulateness (or is it “articulacy“?  maybe “articulity”?  My intended English major is starting to seem a little ridiculous right now…) and charming wittiness (“witty-osity?”).  

I’ve also benefited from turning my energies outward, trying to find other AB540 students in my school (particularly those who aren't seniors yet), and arranging some sort of advocacy/support group.  I’m making headway on that, though it’s slow work finding undocumented students.  I did manage, however, to find two classmates interested in attending a DREAM (Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act) meeting tomorrow at UCLA.  One of them is a sophomore who I became close to before I found out about our shared AB540ness (erm… I like to make up words, btw).  I’m really excited to bring her along tomorrow, because I think the hardest part of being an undocumented student-- at least for me-- is being uninformed and uncertain.  I know that the uncertainty in my future is still difficult to handle.  So much could happen-- the DREAM Act could finally be passed, or AB540 could be repealed.  I expect that uncertainty to ever become something I can think about comfortably.  I also know, however, that being up-to-date, aware, and involved gives me-- at least partly-- the sense of control that I need in my life.  And I want to make sure that other undocumented students don’t suffer from any more uncertainty in the future than I do.  

Now, I should go to sleep lest I fall asleep on the bus tomorrow and have my wallet stolen from me again…