It's all about choices

I love clothes. It's a little ridiculous. I can go without doing laundry for unbelievable amounts of time, because I never seem to run out of clothes.

I also love books. I tried counting, and I have 500+ books in my room. with few exceptions, my books are all used. I experimented with drugs in the past, but NOTHING beats the high I get when I can snag a Nabakov for one dollar or a Sedaris for 50 cents (I once bought Les Miserables for a quarter!).

So in any case, I love scouring thrift stores for peculiar dresses, or loved authors. I did just that today, and I found a copy of Brief Interviews With Hideous Men for one dollar (which means that I can now finish it, since I lost my last copy of that book) and I bought THE "little black dress" to rule all little black dresses for seven dollars. I almost cried.

My second-hand love isn't born out of necessity, however. I hate the idea of using up more resources than I need to, and buying used books just seems like the logical thing to do. Furthermore, I hate seeing my clothes on other people, a risk I always run when I shop at a mall. (In fact, I have a scarf that acts as my safety blanket. It is an exceptional piece in that I love it, despite the fact that I have seen in one TWO other women).

So, my thrift passion is here to stay. I resent, however, that I would probably be resorting to my current shopping habits out of necessity even if I didn't WANT to. Essentially, my choice is meaningless, because I have no choice.

The mother of a friend once told me how she resented the religious restrictions imposed by the government on women NOT because she didn't want to wear a scarf, but because she DID want to wear a scarf as a symbol of her faith. When women not forced to wear the scarf, her choice meant something. But now it doesn't.

I know it can seem like a meaningless distinction. I mean, I'm doing what I want, so what does it matter if it's not a real choice?

But it makes a difference. There's the freedom to choose from limited choices is not true freedom.